Letting Go of Stuff

Do you sometimes wish you had less stuff accumulated in your house, in your life?  You are probably not a hoarder, but you still find it hard to get rid of things you have not even used in years. The following will give you some food for thought on how to liberate yourself, and your children or heirs from all your stuff. We all know that we cannot take stuff with us anyway.  As I heard somebody say: “I have never seen a U-Haul Trailer behind a hearse.”

During my father’s career as a contract lawyer, he helped a lot of people write their last wills and testaments.  Many of them did not have somebody they trusted to become the executor of their wills, so my father referred them to one of his trusted colleagues.  In return, whenever they helped somebody with their testament, they would refer them to my father to become the executor of their wills. When he retired, people who were referred to him over the years passed away and he would become the executor of their wills.  Several times there were situations when there were either no relatives at all to look after the estate, or they lived too far away.  In such cases my father would go through their stuff, sort out what was valuable and forward it to the heirs.  Other things, such as furniture and household goods, which the relatives did not want, were given to charity.  On a few occasions my dad hired me and some of my friends to rent a truck and haul things away to a charity warehouse or a junk yard.

Based on this experience, my parents decided that they would not want their children to go through the arduous process of sorting through their stuff, when they pass away.  Consequently, they decided to sort out a lot of their things which were stored over the years.  One year they would go through everything stored in the attic and take out everything they had not used for two years.  They would either give it away or throw it away.  The next year, they went through the basement doing the same thing.  The year after that they went back to the attic again and so on.  This resulted in clearing the entire house every other year. 

It can be an emotionally draining experience to sort things out, especially if these things have sentimental value.  At the same time, it can be a liberating experience.  It can help us move forward in life and not hang on to the past.  We can ask ourselves, does hanging on to the past prevent us from being fully present in the here and now?  While the sorting process is often like taking a sentimental walk down memory lane, the result will be a clean, decluttered environment.  This can help us focus and be present in the here and now.  We can move our lives forward.  I know it’s not easy.  While I am writing this, I realize that I still have books from college that I have not looked at in over 30 years. It’s time to get rid of them and make room for what is important now.

When I went back home to Germany for my mother’s funeral a couple of years ago, I also spent a few days with my sister clearing out my mother’s place.  There was still a lot left, and it was an emotional time.  The fact that she had already sorted out many things certainly made it a lot easier for my siblings and me.

There were some things which in a way I would have loved to keep.  They were heirlooms.  For example, my father’s old mechanical typewriter which he used until the end of his life as he never made the switch to word processing, or my mother’s traditional costume, which she wore at very special occasions, such as our wedding.  But I knew, those things would just be stuck somewhere in a cabinet or the attic and never ever be used again. We gave them away to a local heritage museum back in Germany and the items are now on display for others to see and enjoy as part of local history.

To let go of stuff and get rid of clutter, can be very helpful in freeing our time and our minds up to focus on what really matters and what really makes a difference today. 

It is not an easy question to ask, but, I think it is worth considering:  What would honor my mother more, keeping a lot of her stuff around me and reminiscing about the past, or visiting an elderly or sick person, who can hardly get out of the house or the nursing home?  What would make the greater impact?  What would be more meaningful in the here and now?  And what would give us a greater sense of fulfillment? 

What stuff is there in your life, that takes away your time, energy and other resources from your higher purpose?  Liberate yourself. Let go of that stuff and be free to add more depth and meaning to your life.

[Matthew 6:20 NKJV] "but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal.

We can be slaves to things we have.  We are so busy protecting and maintaining them that we have less time for what is more important, our relationships with God, family and friends.  Are we spending more time just to have something that does not serve us or anybody else?  Making the money to buy it, maintaining it, insuring it, cleaning it etc. does that take more time than what it is worth to us in terms of enjoyment, relationship building or serving?  As an example: Sometimes that can be the case with boats and swimming pools which are hardly used.

Does the thing serve us and others or does it just serve an image we are trying to maintain?  When asked what they like the most about their cars, many Ferrari owners said in a survey: “The looks I get from other people”.

I am a real estate investor and I remember taking a course, where one of the advantages of real estate investing listed, was “pride of ownership”.  If pride of ownership is needed to give us a sense of significance, what does that say about our relationship with God?   Again, our sense of significance should come from our awareness of the fact that we are children of the most powerful and most loving being in the entire universe and our service to Him. Let go of trying to impress others with your possessions and focus on pleasing your Creator.  What others think of us should only be relevant in respect to us setting a good example and glorifying God in who we are and what we do.

Questions to ask yourself:

·         What things have I not used at all in the last two years? 

o   Are they of any value?

o   If so, who can use them and benefit from them more than I?

·         What books have I read and will never read again?

·         What books do I have and don’t plan to read?

·         What is the cost of keeping things in terms of time, money, energy, space versus the benefit those things still provide?

·         Is pride of ownership my motive?

·         Am I sure that my heirs would really want what I have kept for them?  If so, why not give it to them now?

·         How would getting rid of things simplify my life and free me up for what is important to me now?

·         If I want to keep something to remind me of a person or a pleasant experience, would a picture of that thing serve the same purpose?

© On Eagles Wings, LLC